Being Dad

14 years ago today.
I watched a football game with a burrito baby in my arms.
Tonight she wanted me to make fried chicken. Honored to be deemed worthy.

We worry over them and wonder if they are gonna be ok
when we let them toddle off across the yard
but eventually we let go of the handlebars and let them roll on their own power
kinda gotta.
 we have to pick them up off the ground.
we have to hug the tears and be the hankie when
there is a snot walrus tusk hanging off their 3 year old face

teen between here and there
dreams of tomorrow and memories of yesterdays not so long ago
i am grayer and the days get shorter
I have to remember these days as long as I can
eventually all I have left are the deeds I have done, good and bad
memories fade in the gray matter. dry cells firing intermittently
but whilst what wits still abide me
seize every chance I get, jump the fire
we might only be here once

Beisbol and dust.

Sometimes we get the call

fate hands our task to us

and we go and do it

that there is Joan Miro, dog barkin at the moon he is

and so credit is given and well deserved

climbing Jacob's ladder up and down

we go

we exist here and now

barking at the moon

yep

fun too

I had to go steer the elder father figure on to the house

he's in there sleeping in my bed

whilst i play at words and make things dance 

because I am still not ready for sleep

it is my turn now

to burn the midnight oil

to be the one awake 

in these late watches

It is mine to find the tickets

to make the way before us

get the hats, buy the beer and find food 

he can glad hand the kind officers watching the crowd

and whip their ass with nonsensical stories of fifty years ago

I still think it is a good thing for the FoFo to embrace the social network

same as the scientist 

you mfers better get a clue

the politicians that mark your wages and declare laws before us

had damn well be aware of us

and if you choose to ignore them

that is on you

It was nice that my team won tonight

but they are hamstrung and wounded

this is a season of trying to sort through the debris

to find what can be kept and saved for next year

my time with my dad might be short

and the hours I have with the pre-teen daughter 

fly before me

seize them all

never again willingly 

dear god deliver me from ever ever

walking away 

when I have it in my power to stay

time is fleeting

and the wheel doesn't roll back around again

very often

there is the now

use it

seize it 

it is what we have